THANK YOU PARONITY! YOU ARE AMAZING!
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Thank you for the giveaway!
What I love about this year is the support I get to continue gaming, even though I'm not the greatest gamer, I still have great friends here! I hope to see you all in 2017 (with some news to come very shortly, and NO, it's not the new Laptop)...
You see @SaltySam, there is this little thing that I talk about a lot about called paying it forward. Perhaps you have heard of it?
(You can stop here if you want, the rest is just my thoughts and rants about life and why I did what I did here.... )
In all seriousness. I have had so many things at GSN that have helped me in a mental capacity. I have been here damn near its inception and have loved (just about) every moment of it. I have had to step away from admin duties while I get "me" in order, which is slowly starting to happen (It's about damn time - the new office is finally underway and I can be back on my PC again....). I just like to give back to the community. What better way to do that than to give back to the people that make it?
You are not a bad person yourself, either. You wouldn't be carrying the rank you are if you were. You are an integral cog of this complex clock that is a place that we all can call home. A place that people can come to relieve stress, instead of creating it. You take on <some> stress because you have to run things, make decisions, and craft the systems and the way we operate as a community. I went from a large pillar to a person that almost no one knows . This may have been the best thing for me to have done in my life, though. Without it, I would not have been able to start fixing "me". While those last two sentences may seem contradictory, I wanted to use them in the way that I did to further elaborate on the stresses that you take on, just by being a staff member. For that, I thank you, not me.
Let's take a step back further though (and several of you might read something like this twice because my blog post tonight is going to mention some of this), I just love helping people. I don't care if they know I did it or not. I don't care if I get recognized (in fact, as a child I HATED adulation and would avoid it at all cost - I didn't know how to handle it). This is going to sound cheezy, but the response, expression, story, reaction, or outcome of my actions are payment in of itself. When I can make someone smile - victory. When I can make someone's terrible day "just bad" - victory. When I can be a set of ears for someone to vent to - vicotry. When I can give someone advice based on my trials and tribulations - victory. As I have been walking this path with anxiety and depression I have found myself wanting to help others even more than I did before. I <think> (I'm not a therapist or a psychiatrist) this is because I just enjoy seeing people happy. Literally, if I do something that makes a kid or adult alike smile, it warms my heart and makes me well up. I just love it so much. This coming from a person that used to show no emotions (I would link to an image of my emotions, but the post is archived and I don't have access to it anymore ). I can't explain it. I wish I could. The joy I get from doing it is greater than anything that could be done for me.
Long story short, you deserved what you got. Everyone did and there are more people that do. Hell, in my book - everyone does and if I were rich, I would be doing just that. I have no will to be rich to have everything I ever wanted. I would be giving most of it away to make others happy. That's just me.
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