“Do Something Every Day That Scares You” -Eleanor Roosevelt
What Eleanor is saying is obvious, she is saying to do something every day that scares you. While this quote may be sound simple, think to yourself if you really do this. Most likely your answer to this is no, you most likely follow the same “safe” routine every day and do not venture that far off that path. Yes, it may be safe and without risks but are you happy with that? If you answer yes then you can stop reading now go and go off and do whatever you were planing on doing before you started reading this, but if you answer no then continue reading and maybe this will change your life.
What Scares You?
This is the first step to achieving this is finding what scares you. This is different for everyone so I can’t tell you what scares you or how to achieve this goal of doing something every day that scares you.
What use to scare me and what still scares me. I am scared of social interactions with new people, I am an introvert and not the best socially so I can get very nervous when meeting someone new, I am scared of not being liked by others, I was scared of Live Streaming when I first started (now I LOVE IT!), I am scared RIGHT NOW writing this post but I am still doing it, I was scared of failure (will touch on this in the next post). This list can go on and on but these are my strongest examples.
So think to yourself what scares you, and think of ways you can do these things every day to overcome your fears.
How Do I Work With These Fears?
So now that you know what scares you, it’s time to start to overcome these fears and do the things that scare you! There is no clear cut way to do this and again you will have to find the way that works best for you. But I overcame and am overcoming my fears by trying to achieve “small victories”. What I do is I slowly build up to more and more “scarier” things. You have to walk before you can run, this allows you to slowly build up your confidence so that by the time you have done the thing that use to scare you, you are no longer afraid of it. I have found this works best for me but I encourage you to find what works best for you, if you want to jump into the deep end right away go ahead, remember if you fail you are doing it right!
I have overcome many of my fears using my “small victories” strategy and it has really helped me. One way that it is currently helping me is socially. Like I said I can get really nervous in social situations with people I do not know, I can not help it I am an introvert by nature I can not help it, it is the way I am, but that doesn’t mean that I can not try to change it. I slowly been trying to become more social and even though I am still not 100% comfortable in large social environments I am a lot better than I use to be. I use to be the type not to engage in social interactions, but over the last few months I have been trying to become more social by using this strategy. And so far this has helped me a lot and I feel a lot more comfortable with social interactions with new people (the thing that scared me the most).
Ok so this story is going to be embarrassing but screw it, I am going to say it anyways. This has also helped me with talking to girls… I was an idiot I was scared to talk to girls because I had a low self esteem, I thought of myself as the nerd that girls did not like. My fear of talking to new people just fueled this irrational fear that I had of talking to girls because I did not want to seem awkward or if I ever did get the balls to ask a girl out I was afraid she would reject me (I will talk about failure next post). So all these things fueled my fears. I wanted to change but did not know how until I started following this quote, I started forcing myself to talk to girls in my class and slowly I started building more self confidence. I learned what to say and how to communicate better with girls. This has given me a ton of self confidence which I did not have before. This small thing has made me feel a lot better about myself and allowed me to become more social with girls when before I would not talk to them thinking they wouldn’t want to talk to a nerd like me.
How This Will Effect Your Life.
Ok now that that embarrassing story is out of the way, we can talk about how this will introduce you to new things. One perfect example to this is me meeting gsngaming (yes I am talking about them again). If I never took the risk to hop into the teamspeak lobby and play as cop back in Altis Life I would have never met the amazing people at gsn and would not be a member of the awesome community today. I did something that scared me, which was hopping into a teamspeak lobby full of people I did not know and talking with them, but I did it anyways and I am very happy I did because like I said in my last post I have made great friends there that I would have never met otherwise.
This will also make you new friends in person, if you are like me and are not that social but your goal is to become more social by doing this you will force yourself into social situations, and you will make new friends with people you never thought would be your friend. I have already made new friends in school with people I thought I shared no similar interests with, but after talking with them I realized we had similar interests and they became my friends. Sure not everyone you meet will instantly become your friend but if your goal is like mine it gets you talking with a lot more people and you start making friends with people you did not think you would make friends with.
Depending on your fears that you want to overcome this will effect you differently but it will most likely give you more self confidence because you will see you can do the things that once scared you and were holding you back from trying new things.
How This Has Impacted Me
This has had a huge impact on me. I was in a low point in my life, I was not happy with myself and it seemed like life was out to get me. I had lost most of my motivation to do things and was trying to hold on to the last bits of happiness I had left which was my friends, family, and gaming. But I still wasn’t happy with myself or where I was.
So I decided to change, I was tired of being unsocial and having a low self esteem. I wanted to be more social, I wanted to be confident in myself, and most of all I wanted to stop being shy around girls. So I forced myself to slowly start interacting with more people outside of my circle of friends. I forced myself to fake confidence and by doing that I slowly achieved it. And I forced myself to talk with girls and convinced myself that I was not the nerd that girls don’t like talking to, but instead the funny, kind, and easy going person I really am. By no means am I the best socially I have only been doing this for a few months now, but in the few months I have seen myself completely change, I am slowly becoming the person I want to be and am gaining confidence in myself that I never had.
I have to say, this has had a huge improvement on my life. I still have problems in my life but this has helped me gain my self confidence that I never thought I would have and slowly I have become happier of myself.
Doing something everyday that scares you has the power to change your life. It can give you more self confidence, it can make you new friends, and force you to try new things that you never would have done before. It can open many new doors for you in life and while it may not solve all your problems at least it is a good way to start a new chapter in life. Whether you wanted to to this to change yourself or just want to try something new and see how it goes, I will say this will allow you to face your fears and slowly overcome them.
My next post will be about Failure and how that affects you and how I view it. I did not talk that much about my failures in this post because I want to save that to talk more in depth about later. You will fail in many times though out your life but the trick is learning from these failures and building off of them in order to succeed.
So what scares you?
Thank you for reading,